Sunday, 15 October 2017

Not a leader, not a follower: the new category: Communicator

The leader is beholden to lead. You're either at the top of the stairway, or going down. But the world as we know it as at the end of meaningful leadership. They no longer impress. Political leaders are as ordinary as thugs. Business leaders are stress managers rather than economic shapers. Religious leaders are, at best, persuaders, at worst, liars. Military leaders are authorized bandits, educational leaders process managers. The new official lieutenant to the leader is the executive coach, and this shaman is an expensive one because if the so-called leader buys into this, the money and the energy blend into a fascinating prostothetic. We believe each other, because we paid for the feeling. The coach paid a lot, the executive paid a lot, therefore it's valuable.

The staircase is a strange place: it offers perspective. When you are up you are up, and when you are down you are down, and when you're only half-way up, you're neither up nor down.

There's an even better one:
"As I was going up the stair,
I met a man who wan't there.
He wasn't there again today,
oh, how I wish he'd go away".

The language of leadership assumes the position. Increasingly, the language fails. The money is still there, but the communication isn't.

I suggest a new category: not the leader, not the follower but the communicator. Not the executive, not the worker: the communicator.

Each step. Not the top, not the bottom, but the connection, the synapse, the transmitter, the avenue of accelerated efficacy of purpose related to the business at hand. The team, the whole, the movement, the meaning, and each part thereof.

The body itself is such an example. It all works, but often the leader is absent by default. The body cannot lead itself for itself: it is part of an ecology. We're going downstairs to open the door, maybe we're going upstairs to the toilet. But we, the decision itself, are going. We're communicating the purpose as one, nothing left out.

The new paradigm bypasses the union's legalism, the leader's proficiency. The communicator has arrived, but has no awareness, because the play of the communicator's language is yet emerging. The leader is authoritative, the follower deferential. The communicator knows the silliness of this differential, but as yet lacks the platform to have an authority of language because the platform is one of play, not of establishment. The leader-provocateur or the follower-provocateur is the closest shadow  of the proper communicator.

Few leaders dare to play, when there's much at stake. But living itself, is a stance, a stare, an attitude, a gamble, a game, a one-life stand.

There's much to be communicated, and few who know how. The Story Clinic is one avenue. Not one story exists until it's enacted by communicators.

Tuesday, 10 October 2017

The Story Clinic and Cansa Support

On 27th September 2017 The Story Clinic attended a CANSA support group at Sederkem Clinic, Clanwilliam. The person who kindly arranged this was Susanna Mezza, of Sederkem.

The purpose was to offer emotional support to cancer survivors and carers. The medical world is often better at clinical work than compassion, and CANSA assists with both in many ways. The Story Clinic is grateful for this opportunity to be involved with a really worthwhile organization. The theme was "Six ways to support feelings attached to cancer". In the end we found that it wasn't about counting the ways, but realizing them through experience.

When one is diagnosed with anything serious, the emotional consequences are difficult. One helpful approach is to write headings for the chapters of one's life, and then to review how adaptation to a new "normal" has taken place. The respondents is this event taught me a lot: how they understood their own emotions, how they valued those close to them more than their own lives, how they took on new and deeper experiences.

Thanks to all for this enriching experience, and especially to Johan Vermeulen, owner of Sederkem for his unwavering support of natural means to health. 

The Story Clinic at Kalk Bay Books

Kalk Bay Books kindly included The Story Clinic in their evening events. We intended to have an interactive experience with story therapy and poetry therapy, but didn't have time to move beyond story therapy. Story therapy is about viewing one's life as unfolding story, using typical aspects of story such as chapters, voice, authorship and description of detail to surprise oneself out of a constricting life plot.

We went through a few exercises and the general experience was fruitful in terms of realization and discussion.
What a marvelous venue Kalk Bay Books is! The atmosphere is palpable. Thanks to Audrey, of Kalk Bay Books, and Mary-Ann, the events co-ordinator. Thanks to Michael Salzwedel for his journalism, and to Prof Paul Potter for his support. And to Leopards Leap for the sponsored wine to Kalk Bay Books. And to those who brought memories of old friendships with them. I was reminded of so very much.....perhaps this is how the glue of story works. 

Event: The Story Clinic at Clanwilliam Kunshuis

On Wednesday 2nd August 2017, The Story Clinic held an interactive event at the Clanwilliam Kunshuis, on invitation by the owner, Stephanie Stone. Stephanie has a huge amount of art available, and the gallery is certainly worth a visit.

The topic was "Art and neurotransmission: how far does feeling go?"

We started off with a brief explanation of how neurotransmission works, and then applied it to the visceral experience of art, how we feel when we encounter images, and how those feelings come to mean something to us, individually and collectively. We got the group to make a big circle, and showed them how to behave like neurotransmitters. Did everyone enjoy that? Some weren't so sure, but at least it was fun. 

The main theme was that communication is central to the creation of meaning, and that art is not merely something outside of us, but a huge aspect of what is within us, and that we find and experience it by paying attention.

Many thanks to Stephanie Stone, and to all who participated. 

Thursday, 8 June 2017

The body is a story

Think about where the body begins, and you'll meet a library of stories. Biology, genetics, family trees, family histories, historical eras, geographic locations, political backdrops, economic contexts and more: the moods, moments and meanings are prolific and penetrable, and could take a long, long time to tell.

And if you think your body's story is autobiographical, think again. Your voice itself has many selves and many stories. I recently read "Full Voice" by Barbara McAfee, which not only reminded me of all the possible voices of the body, but put me back in touch with voices from the long-gone past which I had forgotten about, and was so surprised to rediscover.

I owe much to my Irish friend who looked at me so many times and said the same thing: "Shit!".
I never knew what to expect after that, because he used to be a priest, and was able to choose words ultra-carefully. But what I'm thinking of was the time he responded to our conversation by giving me a different look and saying, "Shit! You're in touch with all your selves".

The older I get the more I realize that I have loved many without realizing it. Sometimes you miss what the sense of connection is telling you. I wonder how many have looked at me in ways that connected us, and I missed it.

The body itself is one big connected item, made of literally millions of sub-systems, and that magical nexus, the voice-box knows them all. Sorry for that almost superfluous label of awareness called the ego that knows almost nothing.

The body is a story, and the way to hear it is to pay attention. Special attention grows the mind, which clothes the body with consciousness. Animals and children love it, and adults try to gain it with tricks of attraction.

When we do not pay attention to what the body is expressing, the consequences are real. Sometimes we die before we should, often we don't learn what is so blatantly obvious, that we have to regroup and try again.

The sense of story and the activity of realization are closely linked. And if you fervently believe something that isn't so, then fervency is all that you'll get in the end. Big energy going nowhere.

And the converse is also true: no fire in the belly, no spark in the eye. A lukewarm life.

Each body is a cosmic drama, and our lives tend to show it. Each body is God's art, not man's science, and our souls reflect that beauty and desire. Each body is an epic poem that promises something never heard before, so it would be good to allow that voice to feel, fully, its expression in action.

The body is a story, not merely a death in waiting. And it's not one story told by a lonely passenger in an almost empty bus. It's more like a chorus chanting in counter-point, using language like a lasso to hold an impossible ideal stable in a sea of suggestion.

The more I listen, the more I hear it.

Saturday, 8 April 2017

Focusing on the sense of story

Story precedes langauge. It's a provocative statement. But I think it works. And by the way, I don't think much of the word "truth" anymore. I've experienced far too much of what other humans use as truth, and hardly any of it sits well with me. If you appeal to the authority of truth I'm not listening. Sure, there's a sense of truth, but it's more gut-like than cerebral, and that's what it is. Of the gut. Not of a special concept like a formal god you can't escape. I'm less interested in what's true and more interested in what works. Thanks, Dewey.

There are so many exciting ways of introducing the sense of story. Character, context, crisis. Relationship, romance. Juxtaposition, jokers.

Let me explain why the sense of story means as much and maybe more than the sense of love to me. My upbringing was about Bible stories. Every Biblical book, character, theme, purpose and plan was put to me as I began to know language, and I was made to listen. So I listened. My guts boiled, and head was confused. This was demanding stuff! I was required to take a stand for the entire universe. God lived or died in the name of Christ, depending whether or not I accepted something I couldn't work out. And if I failed to work it out, I couldn't do it, and if I didn't do it, to eternal punishment with ghouls, goblins, ghosts and the devil himself I would go.

Believe it or not, my neurons are still nervous, even though I have worked hard to organize a very rational mind. What you experience when you're young really is important, and the early relationships are critical.

My parents did not love me. I'll take a moment to explain this because anyone who knew my parents would be horrified to read this. They were unquestionably honourable and honest people, they did their best for family, friends, church, community. Probably not country. They prayed but my father refused to vote because voting was a worldly system. Love is realized and created emotionally. The intention thereof arises from awareness and action. But what was their emotional reality? With hindsight I realize that my father was terrified of God, because of his father, whose story I won't go into  (he seems to have been a mad missionary), and my mother was utterly homesick for the country and community she had left to commit to this lot. That;s what I grew up with. It's not so bad. Far worse has happened to very many more.

Historical context is a good place to locate the sense of story. Never mind the psychology. Do a Frank McCourt. 'Tis. Do a Robert Ruark: Uhuru. Do a William Styron: Sophie's Choice. He wasn't there physcially, but spiritually he was. He suffered depression. Not surprising.

Love is a word, and the reality behind it, with it, because of it, is many more words that lead towards awareness of unpredictable emotional metastatis. The opposite of cancer, love is about controlled growth, economic (imporant for South Africa now), social, spiritual and personal. Yet "growth" is also a word: what does it mean?

A story grows. Do we co-operate with it, or does it co-incide with our livingness? I have noticed that how you word your important stories resonates with the unexpected, if you're being honest, spontaneous and real about what you say.

The sense of story isn't merely about being caught up in a book, movie or drama. It's about the shape of your heart. Thank you, Sting...

We all sit at the gate of our story. When we die, what happens between our atoms doesn't. There's a huge story there that no one has yet told, although Bruce Lipton has got as far as the  cell membrane, and the messages that are so astute, there.

Who tells the story you hear, want to hear, need to hear or even avoid?

To answer that you need to deal with Presence. Amy Cuddy is good for that. So is the Old Testament. Try the New Testament too, but take care, it's been hacked many times. Rainer Maria Rilke is good too. There are many, many others.

The sense of story precedes language. It's the place where language and intuition want to meet, and can't quite, sometimes can, and also instinctively know when to avoid each other.

Monday, 13 March 2017

That life and death are not opposites.

I wish that they hadn't taught me that life and death are opposites. I learnt about opposites early on in school. Antonyms, they said, and they worked in pairs, one word meaning the opposite of the other, like hot and cold, wet and dry, up and down, and even boy and girl. It was a rule, even a law, that things worked in opposites. Later on I learnt that this is not dissimilar to Kantian logic, where a thing can be only what it is, not something else. Logical positivism.

I learnt about death before I went to school. I was taken to many funerals because my parents were very supportive of bereaved people. The coffin lid was frequently left open, and once my mother was really cross with me because, as she said, "Why do you want to put your nose in there?" The truth was that I was supremely curious, and not scared of finding out.

But what they taught me at church was a big problem: I soon grasped that although they pretended to know what happened when you die, they didn't. They were heart-broken, no matter how much they believed in Jesus. And the more I asked, the more unsatisfactory were the answers.

Now that I'm over sixty years old, and have kept on asking, all the time, I have to say that life and death are not opposites. Crucifixion and resurrection work together, every autumn covers our garden with leaves and beauty, each spring returns flowers and grace.

The awkward truth about dying is that you know, even if you believe in reincarnation, that you, yourself won't come back. It's a real ending. I have thought about this sad feeling a lot, and the following answer has come to mind: I have ten unique finger-prints on the ends of my fingers, and I feel nothing special about them. Not even one of them. The knowable cosmos is filled with infinite uniquenesses, from snowflakes to stars.

When it comes to people, the same is true.

The feeling of being alive isn't any one particular feeling. It's a magnificent range, the pattern of which is unique to any individual. I have found  that few people go the whole length to the available depths. When they get put out there, they quickly want to move back to a safe place.

There is no safety in music. If you listen carefully you will hear the stuff of cosmos, the knowing of heaven. Strange that it's beautiful and heart-rending at the same time, comforting and turbulent, knowing yet stretching to what seems unattainable.

The story of being alive is just that, glimpses into the greater narrative that we don't control, individually or collectively.

I was brought up as a Christian, and I don't think that that collective has got too much right. The rogue priests who speak truth to pope and arch, the protests, the faithful and fervent, the silent kindness of the ordinary people and the earnest intellects of those who attempt to overcome pomp: these impress and inspire me. And those who show that God and art are in relationship. And those who reject dogma for freedom, fearlessly.

Two things tell me that life and death are not opposites: music and the table of elements. Both are absolutely neat, predictable, explosive, creative. One creates awareness, the other makes creation aware.

In that creative activity, each unique human is caught up in a web of counter-point: feelings that pour through us, from us, to us.

Our individual uniqeness is one thing, the wording and experience of living another. It's a pity that we have kept language and living apart. The formal world is responsible for that. At bottom, humans are intelligent animals and creative spirits, not formal units for political and economic purposes.

The sense of aliveness is most keenly experienced when we embrace the depths we fear. That means when we cease to fear, and to wonder more, and accept more. Just as we do from the moment we're born, until we're forced to accept opposites.

That's why I say life and death are not opposites. I am not a lone story that stops. I can't tell where the next wave will take me, but I can sense the planet's water move through each cell that makes me who I am.

Thursday, 26 January 2017

Focusing on truth

It's difficult to be truthful.

There are a few reasons for this: mankind is technologically advanced but not spiritually enlightened, also not philosophically clever, morally evil, verbally stuffed, to put it politely.

We speak and do not know of what we speak.

I have learned a little about respect, which means that you recognize and act appropriately to what's in front of you.

Reality is the stuff you don't argue about. I had the opportunity to learn about medical hypnoanalysis, and the one thing that has stuck is the injunction "Physiology, physiology, physiology". Thank you, Jeffery Rink, for this.

Physiology is truth. It's worth pondering, because everything boils down to experience, at least on this planet, and concepts are concepts, and birth is birth and death is death. Woody Allen said that there are three real things, birth, sex and death. My brain registered that, too.

The  Buddhist system of belief is based on the respect of truth. Taoism is based on thre balance of truth. The Christian approach is to recognize the personification of truth. There are many approaches to truth.

This is why I don't like truth. In the end it boils down to a sense and formalization of truth.

It's not a helpful word.

But it means something really big and unavoidable.

Like birth.

Like death.

Sex is important but not as important.

If you talk to me about truth, be prepared to walk across a few boundaries of soul, and to declare. One of the fun things I've learnt about truth is that as well as being for real, it's also about joy.

As a child, I enjoyed going into the docks ts Cape Town harbour. The customs officials required us to stop, be looked at, and then waved on. Sometimes we had to open the boot, just for fun. We always had nothing to declare, we were just going for a joy-ride.

But then another way of attention crept in: truth was a total commitment, a no-return ticket, an eternal embrace from which there is no return. A very religious way of defining the ocean of emotion. I had to buy in, there was no other way.

If you focus on the sense of truth, you will soon discover your limits, learning and heart-language. Your heart-language is what you say before you say it. Your heart is God's, naturally, unless you deliberately choose otherwise, which is a little bit stupid.

So what does your heart say? What is it's truth? When my music teacher died, I thought I'd try to be psychic. So I practised a bit and then asked him what was going on. He said it was beauiful where he was, that he'd died of heart medication, and then, the important bit, that heaven necessarily involves spontanaeity.

Truthfulness, when it comes to words, as any child can tell you, is spontaneous. Reflection comes after, purpose follows, action results, maturity is learnt, wisdom is born. Maybe without words.

I have huge respect for educationists who know what they're doing - thank you John Gilmour, Graham Nolan, David Knowles - and for medical practitioners - there are many - and for a few priests. Some of them are not formal, and don't know they are priests. Julius Smeets was a friend, a formal priest.

Back to truth. What a word, and I wonder about the story behind it. Of it.

I think that if you want to experience truth, tell your story to someone who knows how to listen. Or even to someone who doesn't. In the heart, there's something really fierce. And clever. And intelligent. We're not taught about this in schools or universities.

I am not a woman, and I don't know about giving birth. But I will tell you about the fierce things in my heart, and about arriving on this planet, and about re-cycling, which is green and good. Although the humans can be so evil, there is a cosmic capacity for redemption. Shoreshank is good for that, so are many other stories, and that fierce and lonely thing in your heart which wants and avoids words is also good for that.

The ultimate story is not about repeating but by creating daily, even minute by minute. And really, it doesn't have to be as solemn as some would have it. Thank you Anthony, for making that clear.....(he's a priest).

For truth, go to heart.

For heart, go with truth.

In between, there's language and story. Good luck! Better, good birth.....bodies are born,
mind arrives, meaning is made.