Monday 18 February 2013

Losing all fear

At first the title was going to be "losing your fear" but then I changed my mind. Losing "all" fear feels to be more irreversible than losing "my" fear, and irreversibilty is one of my litmus tests for the sense of reality. That "all" is a non-negotiable kind of word.

It's accepted that courage is not the lack of fear but persistence despite fear. Fear of separation by death is common, and grief when it happens partially expresses such fear. "It's happening, I can't understand it and I don't know how to deal with it" is a big part of what grief communicates.

You're never the same again, but the difference is whether you embrace your emotional response or split yourself from it.

Learning how to embrace emotions is seldom taught. When I embrace difficult emotions I go to the unknown, unpleasant knot, and go inside it. It gets intense and then either comes clear or grows more unbearable. If it comes clear, just like a tight knot loosening up and stretching out, no more to be done. If it grows more unbearable, I stay to feel what happens. The qualities of the unbearability become the focus: what sort of unbearability is this?

Who says you have to bear fear? Usually the bullies, prigs, prudes and other varieties of small minds. Einstein had the finger on the pulse when he famously asked if the the universe is ultimately a friendly or unfriendly place.

Losing all fear isn't the same as being reckless. Assuming freedom is not about practising carelessness.

Fear happens in the heart. Most people have decently polite hearts that are prepared to accept fear in respect of being acceptable in one way or another. Losing all fear involves dealing with the difference between acceptability and connectivity. Acceptability can be negotiated, connection is a given that can be explored.

Try to be emotionally acceptable, and you'll be at everyone's mercy. Attempt to stay emotionally connected, and you'll be part of continual felt turbulence. If you go for being spiritually acceptable, you'll meet plenty of judgement. If, however, you embrace as far as you can, your heart will find infinite connection with your source, and you will begin to recognise what it feels like to lose all fear.

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